livingthesacrament.com - Living The Sacrament: A Catholic NFP Community

This post was written by myself, but originally published at The Guiding Star Project.

When I first got married I remember several women, both of my own age and that of my mother's, warning to me to be careful of those "mom groups", or "wife's night out gatherings." They gave a cautionary tale of the tendency many women have when in groups to uncharitably gossip and more specifically to talk poorly about their husbands. I quickly noticed their warnings to be quite accurate both in small gatherings as well as on TV and within the media itself. And it wasn't just the slightly cutting jokes made with well intentioned humor, it seemed to be an almost borderline, habitual discussion that was the default to most interactions.

There are a number of states where marriage is on the ballot this fall.  Some states seek to clarify the definition of marriage by adding the language that marriage is only to be legally valid between one man and one woman.  Other states are seeking to legalize gay marriage by popular vote, something which has never before passed in previous elections.

This is such a difficult subject to discuss because of the immediate accusations and assumptions that come with a belief in favor of traditional marriage:

You're a Bigot!

You Hate!!!

This is no different the slavery or other past forms of unjust discrimination!

It's just love, what's wrong with that?

And the attack goes on...

One of the blessings of NFP (in that "feels like a curse" kinda way) is its ability to quickly and unforgivingly thrust your relational weaknesses to front and center stage. This is often especially accute during the early years of being newliweds while trying to gain your marital footing, during times of extended abstinence that postponing couples sometimes endure, and during times of noticeable stress. For most of us it comes down to one, seemingly simple, need to feel loved.

When my husband and I were married almost 8 years ago, showing and recieving love seemed so simple.  How could my husband not know how deep and unconditional my love for him was? However, what we found as time passed was that we both were feeling like the other wasn't really expressing that love.  I mean the words were there.....and we knew that we loved one another...yet we truley struggled with the recurrent disruption in our marriage and relationship centering on a less then acceptable sense of mutually expressed love.